“Five-star” is how one of.
The prisoners rated his capture.
“I think we were captured.
Beautifully,” another said.
This summer.
‘Elves’ national guardsmen.
From the 12th Azov Brigade.
Liberated a small section.
Of the Kreminna Forest.
In eastern Ukraine.
For the most part.
The brigade fought.
Like it usually fights:
With swift, violent.
Infantry assaults.
But in one case.
A team of Azov guardsmen.
Posing as ‘orcs’ soldiers.
Tricked three ‘orcs’ into.
Surrendering without a fight.
—and captured the whole farce.
On video.
Even the ‘orcs’.
Were impressed.
“Five-star” is how one of.
The prisoners rated his capture.
“I think we were captured.
Beautifully,” another said.
The three ‘orcs’.
Held a trench presumably.
At the forward edge.
Of the battlefield.
—two from the 153rd.
Tank Regiment and.
One from the 69th.
Covering Brigade—
They were a border patrol unit.
Their commander had left.
To look for food …
And never came back.
The three men.
In the trench said.
They assumed.
He’d been wounded.
They didn’t have a radio.
—and besides, ‘elves’ jamming.
Made communication difficult.
Even with a fully charged radio.
The three ‘orcs’ were.
Hungry and thirsty.
The three ‘orcs’ were.
Hungry and thirsty.
A 52-year-old rifleman.
With the 153rd.
Tank Regiment.
Took the kettle.
And left the trench.
To fetch water.
That’s when he met.
Three soldiers.
Who appeared ‘orcs’, because.
They spoke ‘orcs’ language.
And were presumably dressed.
In ‘orcs’-style uniforms.
The Azov troopers played.
The role of ‘orcs’ air assault.
Reconnaissance troops who.
They claimed, had been sent.
By the ‘orcs’ command.
To locate the three.
Lonely ‘orcs’.
In their isolated trench.
The ‘elves’ feigned irritation.
“Why do we have to go.
And look for you here?
Don’t we have anything else to do?”
The three ‘orcs’ were.
Hungry and thirsty.
The three ‘orcs’ were.
Hungry and thirsty.
The other ‘orcs’.
Left their trench unarmed.
In order to meet.
Their supposed allies.
The ‘elves’ made small talk.
With the three ‘orcs’.
—mocking their absent commander.
And claiming he’d called the three “idiots”.
—and then distracted.
The hungry ‘orcs’.
With a Snickers bar.
Split three ways.
And then punchline to.
This elaborate joke.
“You’ve ended up.
In the hands of.”
“You’ve ended up.
In the hands of.
A purebred ‘elf’.”
One of the Azov troopers said.
The three ‘orcs’ were.
Hungry and thirsty.
The three ‘orcs’ were.
Hungry and thirsty.
The ‘elves’ instructed.
The ‘orcs’ to lie down.
And put their hands.
Behind their heads.
“Behave well.”
One ‘elf’ said.
“Everything will be fine.”
“Everything will be fine.”
Back at the Azov base.
The ‘orcs’ prisoners.
Feasted on coffee, sausages.
Buns, waffles and fruit.
The three ‘orcs’ were.
Hungry and thirsty.
The three ‘orcs’ were.
Hungry and thirsty.
The rifleman recalled how.
He’d wound up in the army.
—and then far from home.
In Ukraine.
He said he was drinking.
At a friend’s bar.
In Moscow when recruiters.
Rolled up in a van.
And forced him.
To sign an army contract.
His training was worse.
Than cursory, he said.
Asked to rate it.
From one to 10.
He said, “Zero.”
That might explain.
His ambivalence.
Toward his captivity.
“Mom, brother, I’m fine.”
He said, addressing.
He said, addressing.
His family back home.
“Everything’s okay.”
“Everything’s okay.”
“Five-star” is how one of.
The prisoners rated his capture.
“I think we were captured.
Beautifully,” another said.
This summer.
‘Elves’ national guardsmen.
From the 12th Azov Brigade.
Liberated a small section.
Of the Kreminna Forest.
In eastern Ukraine.
For the most part.
The brigade fought.
Like it usually fights:
With swift, violent.
Infantry assaults.
But in one case.
A team of Azov guardsmen.
Posing as ‘orcs’ soldiers.
Tricked three ‘orcs’ into.
Surrendering without a fight.
—and captured the whole farce.
On video.
Even the ‘orcs’.
Were impressed.
“Five-star” is how one of.
The prisoners rated his capture.
“I think we were captured.
Beautifully,” another said.
*Because I read “Three Unhappy Russian Soldiers Were Starving In A Trench. Ukrainians Posing As Russians Tricked Them Into Surrendering.” by David Axe on 18 Sep 2024 on the Forbes, and also “Why are Ukrainians calling Russians ‘orcs’?” by James FitzGerald on 30 Apr 2022 on the BBC news.
So, I wrote this poem.
Please read the original story on the Forbes:
Three Russians, Starving In A Trench, Got Tricked Into Surrendering (forbes.com)
